It’s been ages since my last post. We have been very caught up in the school holidays which end on Tuesday. Today daddy has taken David to the local theme park so I can catch up on my ‘work’ screentime.
We had a lovely camping holiday where there was definitely less screentime but not no screentime.
I believe there are two issues with our screentime:
- Is David spending too much time on a screen?
- Are Chris and I spending too much time on a screen?
I believe the answer to both those questions is probably yes.
Chris and I met in Japan in 1994. We both discovered a passion for Sega mega drive games. In Tokyo there were entire centres devoted to games. It was all new and incredibly exciting. Chris and I are also incredibly competitive. On one occasion, we were arguing over who was best at the various games. This degenerated into a full-on challenge where we stayed up all night playing every single game we had (I know, not the coolest reason to stay up all night) and had to call in sick the next day as we didn’t finish until 8am. Incidentally, it was a draw!!
Chris and I both continue to enjoy gaming. I have played Call of Duty in the past and much to Chris’ amusement attempted to physically peer around corners on the screen. It doesn’t work. Chris the other day tried to move his fingers apart and zoom in on the map he was looking at. Turns out that doesn’t work on a paper map!
Neither of us are addicted to gaming, we simply enjoy it.
Unfortunately, David discovered Minecraft about 6 months ago. He is under the age recommendation, but I allowed him on (despite as a teacher moaning every time a child mentioned a game they were too young for) because I believed I could monitor it and stop if it was too scary. Monitoring was fine but what I wasn’t prepared for was the change in David’s behaviour. He was more lethargic, snappier and wanted to spend his whole time on the game, so we banned it. We also banned YouTube where he was watching other people play games!
I have taught siblings of teens with gaming addiction and the stories I had heard made me extremely stressed about David’s reaction.
The total ban worked to a degree but it was clearly still on his mind as he would ask every day if he had been good enough to have some time on Minecraft. So, worried that complete separation would make it impossibly desirable, we gradually gave limited time on the game. I think this worked as he now uses the I-pad for lots of things and doesn’t spend his whole screen time on Minecraft.
He probably still has too much time on screens, but the problem is that it is so easy. I know I need to do better and I know we need to be better role models. We also need to do it now before the screen becomes the only thing David wants to look at.
We have been going through something very similar and found changing our own behaviour whilst also imposing limits has worked very well. The limits are flexible and sometimes we let him have more – for example days when we are travelling to help us too! But he understands when he has had more time then it means less time in other days and I’ve been impressed that some days – he just wants to play with his toys rather then being glued to the screen…. Good luck!