Category: How did I get here?

How did I become a first time parent at 47? Part 2

Using an egg donor is not for everyone. Fundamentally, as far as science is aware at present, my son does not have any of my DNA. Does that mean he is not my son? To some people, the answer will be yes.

When I first spoke to my mother about the possibility of using a donor, she suggested that I might feel he wasn’t really my son. I have never felt like this. As far as I am concerned, I borrowed some cells from an incredible donor. These were mixed with my husband’s sperm, implanted in my womb and miraculously I grew a baby. Our son.

I am a member of The Donor Conception Network which has some amazing information, links and groups. If you are considering donor conception, do have a look at their website. We joined after David was born as my key concern was how it would impact on David that he was conceived using a donor. I talked to a mother of two donor conceived children through the network and took on board her advice to make it a familiar part of David’s life. He wouldn’t grow up and be shocked to discover that some of his genes come from elsewhere.

We have two books that I read fairly regularly to him. My favourite is two rabbits who (ironically for rabbits!) couldn’t have babies so another rabbit mummy gave them a special gift. A cell that was put with daddy’s seed into mummy’s womb and grew into a fabulous baby boy (rabbit!!). David knows that he isn’t a rabbit but he also knows that he was grown in mummy’s womb with the help of lots of doctors, a lovely donor and bucketfuls of love.

If you would like to ask me anything about our route to becoming parents, please do contact me.

How did I become a first time parent at 47? Part 1

My husband and I had tried 3 lots of IUI when I was 40 and these had been unsuccessful. We had accepted the fact that we would not become parents.

Every time a friend or work colleague told me that they were pregnant there would be the same familiar surge of grief for something we would never experience. A lost child before they existed.

Then, when I was 45, my doctor referred me for a cancer check. This is a very speedy & scary process. Within two weeks I had been scanned and checked and the mass in my stomach declared benign. In fact, it wasn’t in my stomach, it was actually a huge fibroid. Inside 8 months, the fibroid was removed. It weighed about 1KG so I felt a lot lighter! I was chatting to the consultant afterwards and she heard that we had tried unsuccessfully for children. She worked at a private fertility clinic and suggested we make an appointment. That’s when our lives turned around.

Our consultant told me that my eggs would be pretty useless by this age but that we could consider an egg donor.